It has recently come to my attention that Ghost Frog, my most trusted advisor, is, in fact, a ghost. Why is this a big deal, you ask? In case you haven't put two and two together, ghosts are on my Enemy List. And Ghost Frog is a ghost. Therefore, Ghost Frog is my enemy.
Ghost Frog's infiltration of my inner circle raises some interesting issues. What are his intentions? Why take the form of a stuffed frog? And, most importantly, did the hippies put him up to it?
I don't know the answer to the first two questions, but the answer to the third is a resounding yes.
Earlier tonight, I confronted Ghost Frog about his origins. He just laid there, motionless. It was infuriating. I used every trick in the book. Sleep deprivation. Starvation. Heck, I even waterboarded Ghost Frog three times. Still wouldn't make a peep.
And, of course, my parents understand nothing. They put me in my crib at night and hand me Ghost Frog to "cuddle" with. Little do they know that I've been administering nightly beatings to this traitor, and I will continue to do so until I get some information from him.
Until I get to the bottom of this, I can't trust anybody. Not Raj. Not Thomas, my stuffed bear. And you know what? I'm not even going to bother getting attached to all those stuffed bunnies I got for Easter. Not even the white one with big floppy ears. His name, by the way, is Harold.
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