That's right. I am not ashamed. I think that American Idol may be one of the most important television shows in the history of the medium. Why, you ask? Well, it's not because it identifies "talent" (if you want to call that gnome David Archuleta talented). Rather, it goes to great lengths to let the untalented know that they are, in fact, not talented. And this is important because there are plenty of untalented people in this world who need to be told that their dreams are a farce. Katherine Heigl, for example (see below).
Close your eyes for a moment, if you will, and imagine a world where the untalented run amok in the streets, following their dreams of becoming actors or musicians. This is the very world that we must avoid creating! Sure, it may seem all puppy dogs and dandelions at first. The horror of it only sets in when you actually stop and think about it. Who would bus your table at TGI Friday's? Who would answer the call "Clean-up in Aisle 9" at the supermarket? With the untalented out trying to follow their dreams, the answer is NO ONE.
Some people--hippies, mostly--just don't get it. Everyone has a right to their dreams, they say. Well, I have a right to have a hot pizza delivered to my doorstep! And who would do that if everyone was busy following their dreams?
Even though Europeans give me the heebie-jeebies, I think it is time for us to recognize Simon Cowell for the invaluable service his television show provides our country. He single-handedly crushes dreams on a daily basis and I, for one, think we all need to act a little more like Simon Cowell in our daily interactions. No more coddling, no more expectations-adjusting. Just cold, hard, psyche-crushing truth.
So get out there and make an effort! Tell someone who's been told "Yes, you can!" all their lives that no, in fact, they cannot.
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