Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Gonna Fly Now


My mommy recently told me something loony.

"Lucy," she said. "I'm going to run 13.1 miles on October 18 in the Nike Women's Half Marathon."

"Mommy, that is patently absurd," I replied. I then listed reasons why it was a horrible idea for her to go to San Francisco:

  • California is thousands of miles from Indiana;

  • The race is the weekend of the Notre Dame / USC game;

  • 13.1 miles is a lot;

  • She's not as young as she used to be;

  • There is no way I will behave on the plane; and

  • The unacceptable hippie/normal person ratio that California is known for.

Still, she seems stuck on the idea, mostly because she's doing it for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Apparently, the deal is that she committed to raise $3900 for this cause and, in exchange, she gets the privilege of (i) flying to California and (ii) running 13.1 miles. I really need to work with her on her negotiation skills.

But, because she's my mommy, I figured I'd do what I could to publicize her cause. So if you're interested in donating (and she hasn't already hit you up via email or letter), please click here and consider giving a few dollars.

Of course, as a baby, I have very little liquidity. Most of my cash is tied up in overseas investments. What isn't being pumped into the Chinese economy is under lock and key in Switzerland. So you can see my problem. Then it hit me. I would inspire my mommy by performing a number of feats of strength and agility. That way, when she's at her lowest during her training--when, for example, she's barfing in a ditch on the side of the road because of the heat--she can look to me and say "If Lucy can do it, so can I!" So here's my donation to you, mommy. Whenever you're in that ditch, puking your guts out and covered in sweat and filth and detritus, just watch this video I made for you and know that anything is possible. Then wipe the barf from your face and keep running. Just like I kept climbing. Enjoy!