Dipping into the mailbag

Of all the pictures my parents have taken of me, the above is my favorite.  I'm not in a cow outfit.  I don't look like I belong in a Dr. Seuss book.  This is really the first picture of me that  truly captures the real me.  I call this picture 'Thug Life'.  Anyway, time to answer some mail.

Lucy, I call shenanigans on some of your fun facts about Pennsylvania. Jesus never owned a gun! Why would you lie about something like this? Gabrielle T., Texarkana, TX.

Gabrielle, thugs don't lie. As I understand it, Jesus loved guns.  In fact, he invented buckshot.  But I'm sure you won't take what I'm saying at face value, so I did some more internet research and I found this picture:

It is well-documented that Jesus packed heat. Next thing you're going to tell me is that Jesus didn't ride dinosaurs on his day off!

Lucy, I really enjoyed your take on Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler and I share your concerns regarding the Oscar snub for best picture.  My question to you is this: did you see any of the Best Picture Nominees?  If so, what did you think?  Roger E., Chicago, Ill.

Well, Roger, I managed to catch Slumdog Millionaire and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  I didn't really care for either.  Slumdog Millionaire lacked substance and was built around a flimsy game show premise.  The Curious Case of Benjamin Button had a single good moment: when Cate Blanchett gets hit by a car.  But even that moment lost its luster when my dad told me that they probably used a stunt double for that scene.

I guess my biggest problem with the Oscars (other than the snubbing of The Wrestler) is their failure to recognize the greatness of The Dark Knight.  Sure, Heath Ledger is nominated, but that's only because he is dead.  The movie itself should be nominated.  Why?  Because Batman doesn't take crap from anybody.  Not even Robin.

Lucy, you're over three months old now!  Are you sleeping through the night yet?  Janice K., Rochester, NY.

Janice, of course I am sleeping through the night!  Why?  Are you having problems with it?  

Lucy, where have you been the last week?  I check your blog day in and day out for updates and I die a little on the inside every time I see that you haven't posted an update.  Gary J., Naples, FL.

Look, Gary, I don't live and breathe this blog.  I have a life.  I have bottles to eat.  I have naps to take.  I have things to laugh at.  I have to practice rolling over.  I have to play with Raj, my stuffed monkey.  These things take time, Gary.  

That's it for today!  Keep that mail coming!