Basketballs are not to be trusted

I've come across my fair share of things that I don't like in this world. In fact, as you know, I even created an enemy list to memorialize some of my least liked people and places. While I don't really have anything good to say about those who are on my enemy list, I will say that my dislike for, say, George Lucas wasn't immediate. He had me fooled pretty good by A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. I would also argue that Return of the Jedi has it's chill inducing moments -- the epic space battle, the final lightsaber duel where Vader sacrifices himself for Luke. It wasn't until I had seen The Phantom Menace for the second time that I started to doubt George. And that doubt didn't bloom into a dislike that rivals the heat of a thousand suns until Revenge of the Sith. Same goes for Michigan -- great lakes that blind you to terrible people and a farcical University. Ditto for hippies -- the music is good on the radio, but the stench is overwhelming in person. I could go on, but I'll spare you.

So, you see, something doesn't just make it on to the Enemy List because I harbor some casual dislike for it. I'v put thought into this. But then along came something so alien and so revolting that I had an immediate, inexplicable gut reaction to it. Every fiber of my being shrieked GET AWAY, LUCY! DON'T STARE DIRECTLY AT IT! See for yourself:

So there you have it. I don't like basketballs. I nearly dropped ghosts from Enemy List and replaced them with basketballs, but then a thought occurred to me. Perhaps the answer is to leave the Enemy List as it is and allow my hatred for basketballs to fly under the radar. Heck, maybe I'll even befriend a few for appearance's sake. It's like Mother Teresa says, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. And then, when it is least expected, I'll mount a strike the likes of which human eyes have not witnessed. Mark my words, I will not rest until every last basketball on this earth is either deflated or confined to internment camps in Michigan.