You may not realize it, but there is a team of thousands behind this blog helping me make it the international phenomenon that it is. Where would I be without my stylist? My publicist? My personal chef? Not at the top of the blogosphere, that's for sure. I'd be probably be just another dopey baby hanging out at the local five and dime, hoping against hope for some honest work to make a day's pay.
So when when my team staged a "care-frontation" with me the other day, I actually listened rather than hurling empty juice boxes at them. It seems they think that I'm allowing my image to spin out of control and that I need to start giving back to the community to get some positive press. "The community?" I snorted. "What has the community done for me lately?"
I kicked them all out and docked them three weeks' pay.
But later that night, after a long evening of Baby Einstein videos and more apple juice than I care to remember, I decided that it couldn't hurt to "give back". At worst, I waste an afternoon. At best, I build my already vast fanbase.
So the LEBSAB Neighborhood Outreach Program (or LEBSABNOP for short) was born. As you can see from the picture above, I dove right in and found a group of children to mentor. We meet every other Tuesday and they do everything from sorting my stuffed animals by color and personality type to giving me piggyback rides until my naptime. Occasionally, if it's been a really good session, I'll let them wash my tricycle.
But it's not all fun and games for the LEBSABNOPers. Each session is concluded with a frank talk about the dangers of hippies and what to do if you are confronted by a real, live hippie. The answer to that question depends, of course, on whether or not you're armed.
I'm not ashamed to say that I'm doing my part to educate today's misguided youth. In fact, the next step is to go national with LEBSABNOP. By 2016, there will be a LEBSABNOP center in every major metropolitan area. By 2032, I plan on having one in every city with a population greater than 1,000.
Assuming I don't lose interest in this idea like I lose interest in just about everything else (except for things that belong to Bailey), I will occasionally post updates on the LEBSABNOPers' progress and my efforts to expand the program throughout the continental United States.
1 comment:
Lucy,
As your honored God-Father I am glad to hear that you are taking after your beautiful mother and giving back to the community. It is always good to build a young fan base so when your spouse burns down your fishers home (i.e. reggie miller) or a large portion of your friends decide to rough up some punks at "The Palace" and the onlookers (i.e. ron artest and friends). It is in these moments that you can be glad that you aren't Larry Bird and you don't have to start over to rebuild your young fan base...you will have already built some "cred".
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