I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!

As you're well aware by now, I think that football season is the best time of the year. Recently, Uncle Rick (who is kind and bearded) convinced me that it would be a good idea to dip into my 529 account and fork over 50 bucks to join a fantasy football league with him. I immediately went to work on my draft board, ranking prospects by statistical categories such as yards per carry, completion percentage, and average number of touchdowns per game (see above). I also had to come up with a name for my fantasy team. I kicked around a few ideas, but I finally decided to call my team "I Drink Your Milkshake" for a number reasons, the most obvious being my intent to take money from all the suckers in the league. See the below clip for a more in-depth explanation:

Also, on a less metaphorical level, if you did happen to have a milkshake in front of you, I would definitely drink it without your permission.

Anyway, I've decided to use LEBSAB as a forum to do some friendly trash-talking to my opponents in anticipation of the week's coming match up.

This week, for example, pits I Drink Your Milkshake against The Fighting McLuckie's [sic].

The first thing I would like to note about this match-up is my opponent's apparent ignorance regarding the proper use of an apostrophe. Look, buddy, I'm only ten months old and I know this. Either your team is called "The Fighting McLuckies" (note that absence of an apostrophe) OR you tell us why you've decided to make it possessive. Fill in the blank: The Fighting McLuckie's ________. If you can't fill in the blank, then YOU DON'T NEED AN APOSTROPHE. I really suggest that you take a look at Strunk and White's Elements of Style.

But I don't just have the edge in grammar. I've got the edge at (i) quarterback in Donovan McNabb; (ii) running backs in Adrian Peterson and Steve Slaton; (iii) tight end in Dallas Clark; and (iv) defense in the Pittsburgh Steelers. The wide receiver battle will be a bit of a toss-up, but even if I lose one or two of those match-ups, I should still come out on top.