This is humiliating.

Remember last year when mommy decided to run a half marathon in San Francisco?  Sure you do.  Well, she's at it again, but this time she'll be competing in a triathlon for Team in Training in Washington, D.C. on September 12.  That's where you run, bike, and swim.  Of course, she's helping to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society too.  In case you were wondering, they are against Leukemia and Lymphoma.  So please help support my mommy by donating!  Click HERE to give a few bucks.  Every little bit helps.

Of course, the triathlon has to be scheduled on a Notre Dame football weekend.  The Michigan game, no less!  This will make two weekends in a row that I will be forced to not watch the game on my awesome 73 inch TV.

Sometimes I swear that mommy is off her rocker.

But then mommy said "Lucy, I know you're disappointed about not being able to watch the Fighting Irish curb-stomp the Michigan Skunk-Weasels from the comfort of your own home.  But guess what!"

"What?" I said, refusing to look her in her traitorous face.

"You can come on bike rides too!"

"GET OUT OF TOWN!"  I yelled.  I've always wanted to go on a grown-up bike!  It's on my bucket list, right after getting into a bar fight and breaking a pool cue over some random dude's back and right before visiting the Louvre. 

"And you know what else?"

"Mommy, there can't possibly be more.  This is the best news ever."

"Oh, there's more Lucy.  I got you a pretty bike helmet."



"Hold the phone," I said.  "This is America.  Helmets are for Europeans.  And I'm no European.  I take baths, for Pete's sake.  You make me!"

"Sweetie, I just want you to be safe."

So she put the helmet on me (against my will, I might add).  I feel like a real schlemiel. 

Of coures, the rides themselves are a good time.  I get to sit in my seat and enjoy the peaceful scenery while mommy does all the work.  If you want a visual, think of a rickshaw.  A nice shiny red rickshaw.  It really is a great time despite the helmet.

That is, until mommy decides to start singing "When You're Happy And You Know It."